Pamela Gwyn Kripke is a journalist and author of the novel, At the Seams (Open Books, 2023), and the story collection, And Then You Apply Ice (Open Books, 2024). She has written for The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun-Times, The Dallas Morning News, The Huffington Post, Slate, Salon, Medium, New York Magazine, Parenting, Redbook, Elle, D Magazine, Creators Syndicate, Gannett Newspapers and McClatchy, among other publications. Her short fiction has appeared in literary journals including Folio, The Concrete Desert Review, The Barcelona Review, Brilliant Flash Fiction and The MacGuffin. Pamela holds degrees from Brown University and Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism and was selected to attend the Kenyon Review Writers Workshop. She has taught journalism at DePaul University and Columbia College in Chicago and has held magazine editorships in New York and Dallas. She has two daughters and lives near Philadelphia.
Rejoining the Dating Scene, or Not.
By Pamela Gwyn Kripke
I haven’t been on a date since 2019. There was the pandemic, of course. And a move to a new town. And a senior dog who needs meds at 9 pm. 9 pm! Who would ever think to venture out? So, no, no dinners, no drinks. No shaking of hands or holding of hands or anything with hands for this bit of a while. This long bit of a while.
It’s true that we human beings are masters of adaptation. Women, and we who have seen and done a thing or two million, are especially good at it. We are also pretty skilled at overlooking what’s good for us, having looked like a laser at what’s good for so many others…children, mates, parents. But I’ve turned a situation of circumstance into a habit that has outlived the circumstance. And that, dear reader, is the last thing that you want to do.
I know that I need to go on a date. I know that consistent social interaction is beneficial, particularly when you work at home writing sentences, and that it’s particularly valuable when it develops into something significant. And, I think I might actually want to go on a date, despite the, well, rigorous nature of my previous outings, not to mention the torturous demise of my marriage and the relationships that followed. A girl’s got to march on.
So, I have decided to re-join the dance. To shift a solitary life into a more populated one. It all feels unfamiliar and awkward and not exactly fun, the prospect of finding willing participants, saying the things you say, hearing the things you hear. I mentioned the idea to my 20-something year old kids, who don’t like seeing me alone but aren’t the type to press. They certainly seemed happy. That alone is enough, though I’ve also promised my childhood friend Susan, who is onto me and will check.
Meantime, I’m adapting to this novel, or novel again, concept. Like breaking any pattern and establishing a new one, you start by doing something small. You write it down in your calendar in pink, and the day comes, and you do it. You cross it off, and you do the next. Today, I’m writing down that tomorrow, I will write it down. That’s something, right? Yes, it absolutely is.
Pamela is the author of At The Seams and And Then Apply Thin Ice.
Praise for And Then You Apply Ice, a collection of stories about transgression and the female power to pick up and move on.
“Pamela Gwyn Kripke’s prose is pitch-perfect, starting with the title. The scenes in And Then You Apply Ice are vivid and fresh, ironic and funny. This collection is an absolute joyride.” –Corie Adjmi, author of The Marriage Box and Life and Other Shortcomings
“In Pamela Gwyn Kripke’s accessible and surprising collection of stories, we glimpse into the rich inner lives of women exploring their boundaries in the world: mothers and daughters; lovers on the brink of connecting or falling apart; and girls discovering what it means to move among boys who claim to love them, whether they want them to or not. With humor and lyricism, Kripke creates characters who struggle to understand each other and themselves, only to find they need more than just ice to soothe their pain.” -Elizabeth Stix, author of Things I Want Back From You
“Absolutely delightful, intriguing short stories with an edge or an attitude. By Pamela Gwyn Kripke, who incidentally is the cousin of the famous late philosopher Saul Kripke, and clearly shares his brilliantly creative genes.” -Andrew Pessin, Connecticut College Professor of Philosophy and author of Bright College Years
Praise for At the Seams, a story of a young girl who grows up to investigate the family mystery that haunts her through childhood.
“The first line of the book hooked me immediately. Kripke does a great job of showing the complexity of marriage and parenting and, more specifically, dealing with the question of how much of ourselves we share with our children.” -Sheryl Katz, Literary Mama
“Pamela Kripke writes effective descriptions that had me picturing every scene in vivid detail. Jealousy, insecurity, misunderstanding, unrealistic expectations, and the inability to accept one another and their differences are described with insight and perception.” -Lynda Faye Schmidt, Readers’ Favorite
“The strength of this story lies not so much in the original loss, but the long-term impact it has on the enitre family structure as secrets are agreed to, kept, and passed down between generations. Libraries and book clubs looking for vivid stories of loss and its resounding impact on generational connections and life patterns will find much food for thought in At the Seams, a novel that unravels not just the truth but the hidden costs of accepting or rejecting it.” -D. Donovan, Midwest Book Review
